I’ve just returned from a really great weekend away. I’ve been in Islay, where as well as the Education2020 unconference (much more about that in my next post) they were holding this year’s iPhone convention. The streets, bars and hotels were packed full of folk extolling the virtues of their little slabs of black plastic and shiny but slightly greasy screens. Feverish tapping and sliding of fingers across the slick black flashing interfaces was the order of the day…and indeed,  the tip-tapping continued  well into the night. Of course, not everything was all sweetness and light as  the much talked about and dreaded ‘App envy’ swept through the most popular of the local watering holes on the Island. Frantic comparisons of the number of these apps took place (“my app screen is bigger than yours” was definitely the phrase that pays)  and the sheer mind-blowing number some people had managed to cram onto their screens defied belief, with some having to scroll through five screens to find all their apps.  New app development was discussed over copious amounts of the local brews, including an app to assist in the ordering of large rounds. The iPhone really got put through it’s paces as the full extent of its functionality was revealed and taken full advantage of. Some funky choons were played by people blowing into their phones whilst others applauded using a clever little twist on the classic holding up of a  ‘cigarette lighter’ flame to express one’s appreciation of certain musical events – an app displaying a flickering flame. Other apps were used to tell the time, check that the bar and tables were indeed level and the walls were plum, find the way to the toilet, checking for food particles between teeth, ordering the mornings’ breakfast, remembering which way to walk to the bar, and a clever little one which kept a record of whose round it was. Some even managed to use their iPhones to scratch itches, strum iGuitars, play ping-pong, zip up their morph-suits, and create a cunning mini crazy golf course amongst the empty glasses on their tables. Discussions, having turned to important skills acquisition, were livened by the opinion, expressed by one iPhoneophile that a ‘Mac preference’ was vital to future success in life. Sage nodding of heads spread around the room like the ripples which might be caused by the dropping of one of these black uber-phones into the bath (useful if the owner had the bubble-bath maker app of course). Many blurry pictures were taken with the powerful 37 pixel camera’s, but for some strange unexplained reason, no video footage was able to be recorded by the iPhone owning hordes (this was left to those rebels with their Nokia n96’s) However, the proper balance was restored with an exhibition of fixing an iPhone to each shoe, and then performing fine feats of daring-do such as walking across the water from one side of the bay to the other in front of the favoured bar in Bowmore that night, thus proving the almost divine status and miracle working powers accorded these wonderfully versatile machines by their fanatical followers.

And as the iPhones tweeted, and the macs pinged on through the night, the tales continued, of wondrous new apps, and a new more powerful 39 pixel camera, someone brought silence to the revelry by expressing the hope that one day hopefully sooner rather than later, their iPhones would be blessed with the power to actually make regular phone calls ….